IDEA!!

What would happen if where ever someone walked and they heard a fight they were blamed for it? The moment they were within ear shot of a heated argument they were forced to take the blame and couldn't do anything about it. How low would their self-esteem go? What if it happened during those "growing up years" where everything is just "a phase?" But if it wasn't a phase. If it was for real. If I wasn't making this up? If everyone blamed me for every accident even if there was no evidence to back it up? If I couldn't help it.

Even though I haven't been in prison for anything, I have more enemies than I ever had as friends. Suddenly all of my social attitudes have gone down the drain and I'm never going to get them back. No one trusts me. No one likes me. I can't do anything write it seems. I get good grades, read as many books as I can get my hands on, follow the rules, but I see no one except for when I go to school. My parents even hate me and can't stand the sight of me. So they keep me away. But that's how it's been for the past six years.

It's hard to believe that anyone wants me around, but I do have one "friend." I can't really stand her, but she's the only one that doesn't blame me constantly for everything that goes wrong. There is something wrong with her brain. Lilliah has a mental defect, but she's very active and everyone really loves her. Or. . . Well they did until she spotted me in the library one day and just came up and started talking with me. She didn't mind the whispers that were starting and didn't even seem to notice them; she still hasn't it seems.  I may not like her all that much, but she is my lifeline. . . She is the one person that helps make me feel good about myself. . . if it's even possible for too long.

She's the only reason I'm still alive. . . A blade would have long danced across my wrist, a rope would make a pretty necklace, pills would taste mighty fine that is. . . if it hadn't been for her.